The Inconvenience of Inspiration

Emily Apuzzo Hopkins   |   October 5, 2021

As I was heading out the door yesterday to join the family on a trip to the zoo, I was struck by the words within my own mind - the inconvenience of inspiration. I have thought about my own relationship with inspiration often, but never from such a perspective. My experience tends to lie in the fringes - in the poles of inspiration. Inspiration either feels abundant or scarce. And I get angry at them both. 

So, why is that? 

Scarcity in a writer’s life is sometimes referred to as writers’ block, but when you think about it, that sounds pretty crazy. Like a runner saying they can’t run, yet they can still put their feet down to the ground in quick succession - a writer is still a writer as long as they can spell and put words to page. The culprit then is not the lack of inspiration, but the presence of over-editing. Even as I write this, I hesitate to write every word that pops into my head because all I can think about is what the finished product will sound like when I step away from creation. The editor is already cutting in line. Again - I do not have a lack of inspiration. Instead, I need to reframe that and train the editor to wait its turn.

Now, abundance may seem like a weird thing to complain about when it comes to inspiration. But for me, this becomes inconvenient for a couple of reasons. Yesterday, the timing couldn’t be worse - my family was dressed and standing by the door waiting to get our day going. I told everyone to wait a second as I needed to write something down. I couldn’t even flesh out the entire idea, only the words “The Inconvenience of Inspiration”. And then last night as sleep was beginning to set in, my brain asked, “What is so inconvenient about it anyway?” So there I was, framing out how I would write about lacking inspiration and then also being so overwhelmed by it (as I was then) that I could not possibly remember everything I wanted to say by the time morning came around. Inspiration’s timing was terribly inconvenient in those moments.

When I look back over the last couple of years and where inspiration has shown up (and not) I am struck by how true this has been. When I had a morning commute, my brain was constantly racing with ideas. I would have to employ my assistant (Hey, Siri!) to make a note just so I could get the flood of thoughts down somewhere and then get to them later. Then there were other times when life seemed so overwhelming that I had no ability whatsoever to create - only consume creativity (and sometimes not even that by any critical standard). I then found myself not only feeling a sense of lack in my creative pursuits, but feeling a sense of lack in my very being. How sad.

So where is my happy place when it comes to inspiration? I’m not sure yet. I understand that certain habits tend to lead to or be symptoms of scarcity and I am operating at my truest self when I distance myself from those. But the abundant state can also leave me in a state of analysis paralysis - so many options, where do I start?!

Regardless, I recognize certain habits as detrimental either way. I see how habits - very distinct choices I make to create the version of myself I am most comfortable with - will play a starring role in whatever comes next. And maybe, just maybe, inspiration won’t feel so inconvenient after all.