Personal Best (...and then some)
Emily Apuzzo Hopkins | July 11, 2020
It was not really a big day for me. I signed up for a virtual 5k and I ran it. I like running alright and something inside of me had been itching to do some sort of physical challenge. Thanks to a daily yoga habit and just an overall interest in getting back to the fit version of myself, I had felt a tug.
I had recently seen a post on a Facebook fitness group about a different 5k with a Wonder Woman theme. It caught my eye, but I didn’t think too much of it. Later that evening, my ultra-marathoner husband mentioned that he had gotten an email about a virtual 5k that interested him. Now normally, that would not be significant, but here’s the thing… he does not care about running anything shorter than ultras. And he wanted to sign up for this.
“Well, that’s it - sign me up, too!”
“Yeah?”
Exasperated, “Yeah… it’s clearly a sign. Some chick posted about a 5k this morning and now you’re talking about it… it’s clearly a sign.”
“I bet you could run it under 30 minutes.”
“I bet I can’t.”
In a past life - nearly a decade ago - I did finally run a sub-30-minute 5k, but I was at my fittest, I was running often. I had that goal for a long time before I finally achieved it and here he was saying, “do it!” as if I could flip the switch and BOOM, do it.
And then the day came. I had a few days to get it done and enter it on the website and on the first day, I woke up feeling good. I felt super confident that day - not just about running, but also confident in some side-hustle projects, confident in knocking out household chores. I just felt good.
The early evening came and I told him that I wanted to knock it out on the treadmill. I had everything ready. I got on and started running. Step by step. A little faster, a little faster… I kept pushing it just a little more to see if that new pace would be the pace to achieve the goal. I found a sweet spot that didn’t feel like complete death but also appeared that it would get me somewhere under 30. I kept thinking, “I think I can do this, but maybe I should also stop - my heart rate is crazy. But no, I’m good - I don’t feel sick. I’m fine. UGH, but this is HARD!” I continued to think of ways to get out of this self-imposed torture on the “dread”mill. I could lie about a side cramp or a shoelace or something (anything!) and just stop and not hit the time goal. But I didn’t.
I watched those last few tenths of a mile tick and I finished. I finished it at 29:03. Not only had I done it, but I had also run it faster than I had EVER run a 5k in my prime running days. I could not believe it. I entered my info on the site and a couple of days later I found out that I had placed 4th in the entire race - 2nd overall female.
This “personal best” has done so much for me in the moments, days, and weeks that have followed. I tend to be a positive person, but I was always quick to point out my limitations - both real and imagined. This event was like a tiny snapshot of what my best could really look like. It literally seems to have reframed my perspective of many things - not just current physical fitness. Truly, everything.
I realize that there has been a tendency in my life to put a lid on so many of my interests, talents, and dreams because of what I have deemed to be a sort of “foolish factor” - it’s foolish to try that out... you’re decent at that, but so many others are better… dreams aren’t for you. But they are. Bettering myself for the optimistic hope of doing my best work is absolutely for me - and the only thing foolish is thinking that they aren’t!
So, I make a promise to myself today, tomorrow, and for every day in the future when the “foolish factor” pays a visit - it is never foolish to try something new. It is never foolish to passionately pour yourself into what interests you and most importantly, it is never foolish to dream. Because at the end of the day, most dreams are goals. And step by step, goals can be achieved.
I remember in my earliest running days as I would embark on a long run hearing the question, ”How do you eat an elephant?” Now you may already know the answer - “One bite at a time!” but there is so much more to that punchline. Goals and dreams look like behemoths and sometimes they really are! But little by little, they can be accomplished.
I guess I better clear my plate.
