Uncomfortable Possibility

Emily Apuzzo Hopkins | June 27, 2020

A couple of weeks ago I was given the task of writing down what is uncomfortably possible. I didn’t do it and honestly, when I had first heard the question, I was… well, uncomfortable. When those two weeks were up and I read back in my notes, I realized while I may not have written anything, I had really thought about it - way more than I probably would have explored through writing in the weeks prior. While I cannot go into details about the circumstances that had me thinking of uncomfortable possibility, I can reflect on my experience.

I have always been the type of person to play it safe. Plans A, B, and C all ready to go. Logical steps taken - always. What I have learned is that although from the outside it can look like my best work, I have realized it is actually suppressed work. I realized that in these last couple of weeks I was happy living in the dream I wanted to create for myself. I was happy thinking about starting from scratch. I was happy thinking about new challenges faced and ultimately overcome. I was actually quite happy living with the thoughts of uncomfortable possibility. 

And that is when I made the uncomfortable realization that this is truly me at my best. This figure-it-out, nothing-is-an-accident, it-must-be-a-sign, creator-of-my-own-destiny is my favorite version of me. And that is f***ing terrifying.

But the terror I see is not terror felt. I acknowledge that others, or hell, even a past version of myself would look at these new ideas as the wrong move. For some reason though, I have never felt something to be more right. I see the big picture - I see the why and the what of it all. As I dig a little deeper and reach a little farther, the how will follow. And I get to go along on the ride and learn first-hand how comfortable such discomfort can be.